A Phoenix Rising

My husband ran off in my costume!!!

2008-10-31T11:40:00.002-04:00

HAPPY HALLOWEEN
So
i was goingto be Cruella De Ville and my darling was wearing my/his bee costume to his work. today is my MOST favorite holiday!!!! Ok-so he wore it first but I called it,(see some picts of the bee(homecoming picts pg 2) so I am going to be the queen beel later today!!

I am in Love!!!

2008-10-31T10:35:00.003-04:00

I got an early christmas present!! AKindle-if you don't knw what that is you MUST check it out at Amazon.com-if you like to read it is trulyamazing!!!!!YAY!!!

Why do they pronounce it Ar-Can-Saw when it is spelled Ar- Kansas?

2008-10-28T16:48:00.000-04:00

This was the mystery that plagued me as we drove for 10hours and yes, I was bored, and yes, we were slightly lost .AR was fun and very rural( and I thought staying at the Econo-Lodge was “roughing it” but we got to see a lot of family and some beautiful fall foliage so overall I think a good time was had by all! I saw some if Gabe’s family whom I had never met.

travel

2008-10-20T12:59:00.000-04:00

We spent fall break in NC with Kendra, Sam, Marco, Neeva, Brad and Becca, Brendan, and Alexandra. We had a great time and loved getting to see everyone!!!
I haven’t been blogging because we have been traveling a lot!! In fact we are heading to Rodgers AR to celebrate Gabe’s grandmother’s 80th birthday!

I haven’t been writing much because frankly I am bored to death at home .And I am ready to get out of this wheel chair!!!! I am not doing too well feeling so dependent on others My independent nature is really fighting this and I hate the medications making me feel so tired and loopy

The good news is that I have rescued my photos and I plan on downloading some NEWalbums! Yay!!!

drama

2008-10-02T10:35:00.000-04:00

So we all know that drama must follow wherever I go. I was recently in Boulder CO for a wedding and had the lovely experience of having a seizure in the airport. I was getting off the plane in the Denver airport a and found myself in the back of an ambulance but everything has been going well since however, my new medications witch make me slow and stupid so bear with me…..

On another note, I am going to try to repair my photo site but they want to CHARGE Me and when! I pay them I will post some photos......

The Miscellaneous

2008-09-11T12:49:00.000-04:00

The Miscellaneous

I just arrived from TX yesterday with a new MRI under my belt
The story is, there I another spot of tumor that is impairing my walking, but they have a new drug n mind that they feel should improve my walking and this area. I canot tell you how much I cannot wait to be able to walk again!!!!! Also, because my brain is not swelling, I should be able to taper off steroids---big plus more energy, less extreme pain, less swelling!!! so, with a new plan I am ready to see results!!

Just get me a hover-round, and a little medi-alert(I have Fallen and I can't get up) and lets call it a day!

2008-08-27T14:37:00.004-04:00

So I have been crazy busy which is not an excuse but it is the truth. I have also have had a serious problem with my balance & with my walking. (No one seems to know why….) I am now the owner of a lovely RED walker(oh no I am not kidding) It really sucks because I feel like Ihave been fighting so hard to retain my independence an my own sense of self and now, it seems to be slowly grinding to a halt.Soooooooo………we are going to try to clean up this walking problem with, you guessed it, steroids my personal favorites, but I am willing to do this if it keeps me from having a seizure an d allows me to walk around and do the things I really want to do. Also, I am adding a little physical therapy so we shall see.. I am hoping that I can get a low dose of “roids” that will avoid the horrible swelling/weight gain but that so I will be kicking that walker (literally)to the curb!!Photos of my new “ride” etc. will be comin I promise!

the big brown table

2008-08-20T19:26:00.002-04:00

As I sit here and fight my lovely hospital table it occurs to me that the person who created these little gems must have been a sadist
You know the tables the brown ones, thekind that only the nurses know how to operate, the tables that are supposed to go up and down??? Yeah apparently they got a big contract in 1950and have been around ever since!

2008-08-20T19:06:00.001-04:00

This Sunday I teetered my way up to the font of Jackie’s church to be initiated as the godmother of Jackie & Marcus’s son Evan. I got to spend some time with my high school girls Jackie & my godmother-partner-in crime-Karla We really enjoyed ourselves!

So I am looking forward to a little down time!!

Welcome to Balmer hon!

2008-08-20T19:01:00.001-04:00

I have been in Baltimore this past week and at this moment, having a blast with my little brother !(photos to follow)

To quote my friend Edie: “ I am putting on my big girl shoes”

2008-07-29T11:54:00.002-04:00

And Ladies & gentlemen, I am and I have! I purchased a new car(can’t you just hear the announcer from the price is Right saying that??? So, I am the proud owner of a fabulous Volkswagen EOS VW’s new hard top convertible-oh yea!!!!! Of course it will not be here until Wednesday and the there will be photos!!!! :)

Words are tricky!

2008-07-27T22:37:00.002-04:00

So, it turns out that an “angry” rash is not the same as a" crazy itchy rash that won’t go away sand leaves you with something that makes you itch like crazy, and makes you want to tear you skin off!"And that is the rash I have! Other than that, not much to report on this end. I now go Houston for yes, another round!! Xoxooxo

I finally found my camera, so photos will come shortly! Hooray!!

hope everyone is enjoying their summer!! or " time when schools close and it gets hot outside"

Welcome!

2008-07-23T10:51:00.006-04:00

So my friends Kendra & Sam have welcomed a beautiful baby girl !!! Her name is Neva Marie and she is a doll !! I have been trying to post a photo but I can not seem to get the photo to load!!

Welcome Mr. Evan Kristopher Knotts!!!

2008-07-17T13:53:00.001-04:00

My godson (ok maybe he isn’t my godson, yet) came into this world on July 10th at 10:22 pm and he is a doll !! I would have photos, but the camera has run off!! ARG!! He and mom seem to be doing just fine !! What an exciting time for the both of them!!!!Congrats you two!

** check out the knotts website for photos & info!

xoxoxoxoxoxox

i think it is over???

2008-07-17T11:50:00.003-04:00

i think it is over??? i feel like maybe i should whisper that last part!
After a full month I AM almost on the mend. I just arrived from Houston where it appears I have some tumor left, so I am going on a medical trial that i feel really positive about except for the possibility of a beautiful red rash that is a side effect of this drug So... who knows what to expect huh?

I also spent the week end in Chicago with almost the entire Witherspoon-Jungst clan. (4kids plus lots of adults(one with a broken foot) ) Brian and Kristen had a lovely BBQ and we had great weather, I will post some photos when I find the camera...... We really enjoyed ourselves and everyone was so nice to me they really spoiled me!!:)
Thank you guys!!!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

2008-06-27T13:16:00.000-04:00

My apologies for that last bog, I was pumped up on painkillers and actually have been in the hospital. My stitches have been removed and although they can not say for sure, they suspect I may have meningitis’s and I must under-go a 2^nd “lumbar puncture” And yes, it is as as wonderful as it sounds, so… EVERYTHING is up in the air!!! Thank you for the well wishes!!

2008-06-23T14:01:00.002-04:00

the patient id gettin very impatient
at thispont gettin off the couch is an all-day event and it gives me lot of pain So i am sorry but i will porbab.y be MIA until my next appts so I can try to get myself together!!

2008-06-06T17:22:00.001-04:00

Well things here have been a little hectic to say the least...

We had a great time at the Olympic cook out hosted by Pappi(see Photos) and

my Memaw flew up to see me! My baby Sophie had a very bad reaction to a generic Frontline medication and has to wear a cone around her neck because she has scratched and bitten some bald spots. According to our vet, it isn’t uncommon with generic, so please be careful!! I have been spending time with my Memaw but did get to visit my High school English teacher (she is an amazing inspiration) i got to see Mr. Tim, and went to see SITC (sex in the city)Now I am prepping for my upcoming trip and will be leaving on June 8^th. Thank you to everyone who sent flowers or just their well wishes! It is treasured and appreciated!!! Lots of love & I will be back!!!!

Oooxooxxoxoxooxoxo

take care of yourselves!!

Out out damn spot! or REALLY???

2008-05-29T11:07:00.003-04:00

Ok so once again, we are going around this Merry-Go-Round. Forgive me if I sound bitter,but I had PLANS made, people to visit, trips to make, and classes to take! Apparently there is a spot in my head. They do not know if it is new cancer growth or possibly dead brain tissue( I think I have a lot of that! ;) Since they can not tell, they just want to take it out. Well, that is fine with me BUT I have other plans that do not involve brain surgery, or recovery, or Physical Therapy. So that is my complaint. This is causing major problems with my schedule (aka: my life) and that is the one thing I can honestly say really upsets me!! As of now, we are scheduled to do surgery on June 9th, I was really hoping to have it done today but apparently he is "busy". I guess he just doesn't understand the demands of a social calender! But don't worry, I will keep yall posted, we are looking for other options or whatever else and I will certainly keep you posted!!
lots of love!!!
xooxooxooxooxo

Fredro Starr is the hostest with the mostest

2008-05-26T14:13:00.004-04:00

we did a little cookout a day early at mr. Fred's house in Indy. Thank you Fred for the hospitality! He was nice even after I stole his cell phone ( on accident) Tomorrow I leave Indy on a 6:15am flight for Houston. I will as always let yall know what's up when I get back on Thursday! Then it is a fabulous cookout at Pappi's !
xoxooxoxooxo

* photos of course! :)

A little bit about last weekend.

2008-05-21T08:42:00.001-04:00

I was in heaven! I had most of my friends around and I had 10 people staying at my house!! Msybe 60 people seem a lot, but I LOVED every moment. Even when I found Fred sleeping on an aero bed that deflated during the night, even when I found out poor Layla was moved out of her bed and put on a mattress on the floor, EVEN when I was running around the house like a crazy woman looking for a beach towel because everyone had a towel, and I needed one to wash my dog, and someone had gotten the beach towels and used those too!! And I was still happy when I had to wash 10 sets of sheets and 10 towels!

That is how totally great this past weekend was!! Friends from all over, hanging out, and hopefully having fun! I loved every minute of it, and I can not believe it is over!!! I must say THANK YOU to everyone who was there!!

Your presence was a true present! ;)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

ps photos are posted

computer malfunctuion

2008-05-13T12:39:00.002-04:00

OK I just figured out how to change some things on the blogger website!! I am quite proud of that! However, NOW I have managed to delete my links to my friends blogs, and guess what, that was my way of checking them as well!!!! SO for my friends who blog, can you PLEASE either put your site address on here under comments, or email the site address to me please???? I would certainly like to know what has been going on, and I promise that I will put them somewhere besides as a link from this page!!!!!

Gabe & I are planning a big cocktail party this weekend so be sure to check out the photos (after this weekend) on my photo site. You can get to it by clicking on the link you see on the right side of this page. It is the My Photos site. I love this site & I have a lot of photos on it, so make sure you look cause there is more than 1 page of photos & new ones may not be on the first page, I'm not sure!

I was visted by the ghost of Christmas Past.....

2008-05-07T14:35:00.002-04:00

I should have known. I should have known when I went to check into my gym and the man smiled encouragingly, and handed me the key, that something was wrong. Alarm bells should have gone off when he said “good for you”. Of course, as I walked away from the desk he froze me in my tracks by calling out “there is a middle school class using part of the pool.” My first instinct was to run back to the desk and snatch my card back and run out of the gym as quickly as possible. Instead I knew I had to keep going because what would be my reason? I briefly considered slipping off to the fitness room and grabbing a treadmill, but I had a bathing suit on under some pretty hideous clothing and I didn’t think flip-flops would work on an elliptical machine. So I flung open the door to the girls locker room only to be greeted by a gaggle of pre-pubescent, preening middle school girls. As I tiptoed through the wet bikinis strewn around the locker room floor I could almost hear them wondering “Why is this old lady was going to the pool?” I manage to stuff my bag into a locker (with no lock because I never bring one) and did the dreaded task of removing my protective cover up clothing as the prima donnas brushed and blow-dried their hair. As I quickly exited to the pool I had the horrible thought that they might steal my shirt or something from my locker. Knowing that there was nothing I could do about it now, I stepped out. The moment I was on the pool deck I knew I had made a deadly mistake. If preening middles school girls were intimidating, then the pack of pimply-faced, splashing, middle school boys in the pool, made me want to walk out the fire door. Hearing their voices cracking as they dunked each other was like nails on a chalkboard. Knowing that all middle-schoolers sense fear like animals, I calmly got in the pool. I made sure I did not make eye contact and with them and went about my work out. I had forgotten how in middle school you are soo self-conscious. I was aware of all parts of me. I felt klutzy and awkward, just like middle school. I just wanted to hide, which is pretty much everyone’s middle school experience. But I am a tough old lady, and I refused to be intimidated by these sacks of raging hormones. In fact I stayed longer just to prove to myself that I could face such a nightmare! When I went back into the locker room I was treated to the same girls, (can you believe that were still there??)you know the ones, they workout in full makeup and hair, if they swim it is for 10 minutes and then take an hour to blow-dry their hair. They were discussing their noses and what nose they wished they had. Once again, I scooted around the swimsuits. I grabbed my bag, and everything was there. I felt a moment of triumph as I emerged from the locker room and walked very quickly to my car. Hey at least I can drive!!

Parenthood, I think that movie was a documentary

2008-05-05T14:53:00.002-04:00

I spent last week with Abbi & Morgan while Andrew was out of town. I can not believe how quickly he is growing! It was weird, being with a child, suddenly I was noticing all the kids around. I saw children everywhere I looked! I felt like I had been smuggled into a secret society, one where I did not know the lingo.The password is " Rattle" It was fun, and amazing! My eyes were also opened to how expensive kids are!! We went shopping and looked in a few kids stores, WOW the stuff they offer, and the price tags on it are insane!! I also saw some very pricey strollers that I could not get over! So parents, I knew they cost a lot before, but now, I salute you!

Confessions of a Drinkaholic

2008-04-22T16:03:00.005-04:00

( I said drink aholic people!!)

OK so, recently Lafayette got a Sonic. This was a new thing for me, but I have certainly seen the commercials. So I tried a couple of their drinks and now I am officially hooked! Let me break it down for you. First of all, they have the awesome ice. The pellet ice-aka "crushed ice" LOVe it! After that, you can mix flavors around. Peach tea, Strawberry Lemon, etc. -AND the get real fruit in there!! Finally the Best part about it is that they have a Happy Hour every day of the week from 2-4 I think, and all the drinks are 1/2 off!! I love these fruity drinks! I am waiting for them to start calling me by my first name I am in their drive -thru so much!! My favorite and big recommendation is the Lemon-Berry Slush. I can't say much about the food but the drinks are great!!! So the recycling is filling up with these giant cups, and I think my tongue may remain a lovely shade of strawberry red, but I don't care, I 'm hooked. Someone call intervention!!

I’m Back Baby!

2008-04-07T18:21:00.003-04:00

The computer is officially fixed & I am soo happy!! I can now get everything ready for the shin-dig I am having in May. Abbi has designed a lovely invitation for me & I am ready to send those babies out!! I also have some fun photos from having lunch with Karla & Jackie, bowling with Brian & Kristen , and hanging out with Pappi and Hedi. Because the computer went down I couldn't’t download my photos, and I could share them either! I am also thrilled because the weather has gotten so beautiful I am just eating it all up!! Also, Jewels arrived this weekend and I am sure we will be doing lots of fun stuff!!! I hope everyone is enjoying this weather where ever you may be!!!!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Practicing Patience- will everything just hurry up???

2008-03-31T11:52:00.003-04:00

Ok so I am TRYING to be patient, but I am terrible at it. I am annoyed that I have no real computer & although that should be remedied by the end of the week, I can not WAIT it is making me crazy, I was in the middle of several projects when my little world crashed! I have discovered that my laptop doesn't have WORD anymore (a while back IT crashed) So now I need to get that back on here too! ARG! I am also very much frustrated by this weather. Cold & rain are NOT supposed to still be here!! I bought a great spring coat which is still too light to wear!! Ok ok, I know I just need to be patient, buy it is so HARD!! In other news, Jackie has asked me and my friend Karla to be the Godparents to her new son!! I am so honored and thrilled!! How special and to be able to share this with Karla just makes it even better because we have been such good friends for so long!!
I am also job searching ( or, was before the crash) I know I REALLY want to work for the American Cancer Society. I want to be an event planner, but I am willing to work my way up. So far, no luck, it is all done through the Internet, and well.... we all know the situation there.... I will keep you posted! for anyone who did not get a text about my good TX news, I am sorry, apparently my phone did not send them out!! Sorry!!! So Now. I am waiting.... for better weather, for a better Computer, AND for much anticipated fun coming up!!!!

it's all good!

2008-03-27T14:07:00.002-04:00

I have been in misery because my compter died on me so until my computer is revived I am regaled to the tiny laptop!It also means that there are no photos for now!!

I am thrilled to report that I just returned from Houston and I had a great report. I feel so blessed to have such good reports and to have so many people pulling and praying for me!!
SO THANK YOU
XOXXXOO

Back from spring to being stuck in winter-ugh

2008-03-18T10:21:00.003-04:00

THE BIG CHICKEN!! MariettaGA

So, Atlanta was fabulous!! I saw a lot of my good friends and almost all of my family! Not to mention that I saw flowers, green grass, and we sat outside for several meals! Then I get back here and I see snow piles and many Grey days and it is insanely COLD!! I miss Atlanta.... I did see my friends Trnt, Matt, Rashid, Gretchen, Julie, Jeff, and Edie. We also had a celebration for miss Jewels but we were almost blown away by by a tornado! Just kidding, One did hit Atlanta but were were not downtown so it was ok! It was a great time & I am looking forward to getting back there!

Now, I head to Houston. I just really don't wanna deal with it. It isn't that I am worried cuz trust me I am not, and you know I would say it if I was, I just don't wanna be hassled. But what can you do? You gotta go where the experts are I suppose.... That will be March 25-26 and I will let yall know how it turns out!!
Hope that sun returns to wherever you are!!
xoxoxoxoxoxooxooxxoxoxo

I am Bustin Free!!!

2008-03-07T15:46:00.002-05:00

So I am getting out of here!

Gabe & I are leaving tomorrow for Atlanta! I am looking so forward to seeing all my friends & hopefully beautiful spring!! Things around here have been good, a little drama peppered in here & there but on the whole things are good! I am sure I will have more stories when I return!

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Wish I was there....

2008-02-21T12:11:00.002-05:00

With this weather I am desperately missing St. John’s right now……

I also realized that I have lost a necklace that I love and that my brother gave me from St.John’s so I have been calling & emailing them to try to track down a replacement, and I need to tell my brother!! I want sunshine and warm weather! I want to go swimming and drink a margarita!!!

So we spent last weekend in Chicago! We celebrated Brian’s birthday and had a great time! Unfortunately there is still a ton of snow and ice up there so it was a little scary but well worth it!! I also got to see my sweet Ted! Andrew says we are like two teenage siblings the way we fight, but it is all in good fun between us and I enjoy it!! I think Brian had a good birthday before he starts his new job and it was really good to see Morgan and how much he is growing everyday!! Now they just need to start on # 3 (just kidding guys!) On the health front, things are better. I still have a lot of pain in my back because the shingles were basically on the inside of my ribcage. I met with my doctor here and I am on a maintenance dose of meds just to try to get rid of the pain & lethargic feeling. Don’t worry I am not contagious or anything!

I am still looking for a job. I am fortunate that I can be picky, but I miss the social aspect of work and I think I am more productive when I have a schedule. I guess it will work out for the best!

I hope yall are all staying warm & drinking margaritas wherever you are!!

xoxoxoxooxoxoHAVE YOU SEEN ME?????

2008-02-11T14:38:00.000-05:00

So I have not just been lazy, I have had the shingles!!! By the way, I had heard it before, but I am telling you that the shingles are VERY Painful! I have been on a morphine pill for most of last week!! It started with what I thought was a backache last weekend. By the time I managed to get this all under control, I had been to the emergency room, had an X-ray, picked up 3 different pain killers, had an ultrasound on my gallbladder, had 9 attempts to begin an IV in my arm, had a cat scan, and finally slept for a week on heavy medications. Yesterday was one of the first days that I was able to leave my bed!!! I am feeling better I am happy to report, & almost all of the pain has gone away!

Now I am back into the scrambling to catch up side of things. Brian, Bridget & Kendra are all having big birthdays this month so I have some work to do! We are due to visit Chicago and a few other things if everything works out right. Also, it looks like I will be in GA in March and that things are about to starting picking up the pace in a major way

It is very tiny but it carries the world

2008-01-24T10:54:00.000-05:00

Today I got a very small note. It was just a hand written note on a small piece of note pad. It was from a doctor I don’t see very often. I was shocked because I thought it was an appointment reminder, or some kind of bill. All it said was that she had heard about my re-occurrence and that she was thinking about me.

I was floored. Considering that I have to make an appointment with her that is 4 months out, I don’t even know how she had time to do this, but I am truly grateful. It really got me thinking about all the times I have said “I am just too busy” Too busy to pick up the phone, too busy to send or answer an email. The other thing it made me realize is how much the little things really mean. I have experienced it being sick, a phone call, or card it becomes a lifeline. I am going to really work on being less “busy” and making more of an effort! I know it won’t be perfect, but I really am going to try!!!

IN other exciting news, I had an appointment with my Oncologist here. Everything is still great and he told me that there are some new drugs on the market for people with my type of cancer!!! These drugs have shown to completely halt tumor growth!!! This means, if I ever have another re-occurrence (God Forbid) they can use these drugs to halt it in its tracks!!!! I am very excited about this and it is a relief to know that it can only get better from here!!!!!!!

So that is what is new around here, not much but it has been going well!! Take care of yourselves!!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Random Photo!

The Bitch is Back! (just kidding!)

2008-01-17T11:37:00.000-05:00

I just got back from Houston and even though the trip was relatively Hellish, I was truly blessed. The Dr. said that the MRI still shows the tumor on the back of my brain stem, however it has been shrinking! Usually they do not see tumors shrink like this, this early after radiation. So, because things are going so well, I get to remain drug free!!! I will go back in 2 months for another checkup, but they believe that this tumor will continue to shrink!!!

As, I said, I am truly blessed. I am always so thankful because I have such great results! Thank you for the prayers & well wishes!!

Now, Watch out cause I am going to start having a lot more energy!!!!!!!!!!

This is my Mean face!! :)

Give me the strength to admit when I am weak

2008-01-14T12:02:00.000-05:00

This is my new mantra. I have a bad habit of shutting down and shutting off when I feel like I am getting hurt. It is really stupid, I know it is, so I am going to try to admit it more when someone upsets me, but I am already having a hard time just thinking about it! I guess I just want to be superman, and I finally realized that admitting weakness is strength, the strength to show that venerable side. I am pretty open about my life, because I don’t want to pretend that things are just always so great. Still, not having a perfect life is one thing, but saying that I need help, or I am hurt by something…. That seems like an impossible task. I am pushing myself because I realized that but not dealing with the stuff that is hurtful, I am only hurting myself. No one else is suffering, but I cannot seem to simply stop thinking about little instances that upset me. How dumb! I don’t want to be stuck in that stupidity so I am working on it!

I know this whole thing sounds kinda crazy, but I am hoping that by writing it and basically admitting it, that it will keep me honest and working to change this! I have the same theory with forgiveness. If you can not forgive someone then the only person being hurt is you. I am not saying that you should forget things that you know are wrong, but if you can find a way to simply forgive, not forget, I have found that I am able to stop stressing about it. Just a thought!!!!

I head to Houston this week. I leave tomorrow & will be back on Wednesday!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

I have no excuse!

2008-01-07T16:29:00.001-05:00

I took a break from the blog for the holidays! It was a longer break than I had planned! Christmas was great. For the big day it was just the family. Afterwards, Abbi, Morgan & Andrew came for a bit. Morgan shocked us all by taking his official first steps!! At my house so we all got to see it!! It was so great! Now apparently he is all over the place! For a few days Julie & Jeff hung out a lot. We played video games, we Wii-ed, celebrated Jackie’s Birthday, and all kinds of indoor activities before the serious business of New Years Eve! We really enjoyed New Years. Everyone was there, and it was nice to have a low-key style party! Of course it was wonderful to see everyone! After New Years, we celebrated Gabe P’s birthday & I played my first game of Charades! It was fun, but the stuff I was expected to act out was insane For example: Freddy got Fingered????? HOW IN THE WORLD do you act that out?!?!? It was a lot of fun though and I would be willing to try it again.

So now everyone has gone, but 2008 is still hanging on… resolutions? Maybe…. But really, for me, I am challenging myself in ways that are not always obvious, but are also really hard. Maybe I will save that information for another Blog….

I am heading back to Houston on the 15-16. I have full faith that I am going to have a great report! If not, well we will just take it as it comes. 2008 is going to be a great year, I just know it!

All my love to all of you!

xoxooxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxo

1 week and counting!!

2007-12-07T23:00:00.000-05:00

Ok, well after all that drama, I ended up having more labs drawn the next day. Apparently, my blood counts have dropped through the floor and they wanted to make sure it just was not a bad draw. Thankfully, it did not take me 4 hours this time but it still was long. After all that, my blood counts had dropped even from the day before. Yikes! So .. today I got educated(along w/my father) on giving injections. Most of it I already knew, but some was new info. I have 1 shot that I have had before, and 1 new shot that I only take for 10 days. I am hoping that this will do the trick and keep me from having to get another transfusion! The crazy thing is, I feel fine!!!

I am also excited because this is my last weekend in Houston!! I got the official word and I have my flight set! We are still working out the last details of my trip back to Houston, but right now, I just wanna go home!!!!( i have enough drama there!)
All my love!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo
no random photo cause my computer dosen't want to apparently!

A moment of frustration(this blog is going to talk about blood and it may gross you out!!)

2007-12-05T23:29:00.000-05:00

I just spent 4 hours getting done what should have taken an hour maximum to do! I had to have blood work done today. My veins have never been any good. I used to completely pass out when they tried to draw my blood. Because of everything I no longer do that, however my veins have actually gotten worse due to all the medication. I have endured many blood draws from my foot, my hand, and yes, even from my thumb!! So, I had a minor operation to have a port placed in my body. It is right under the skin and is easily accessed with a special needle. It is there to draw blood from. I cannot tell you all that I had to do to convince the nurses Houston that my port was just fine. But I did, and now I have to go to a special area with special nurses to have the port accessed and also to have the access removed when I am done. Ok fine, I know that. So today I arrived to get the port accessed, walk to another area so the phlebotomists in that area can draw from the port, and then walk back to the first area and have a nurse take out the access line. It took me 4 hours!!!

Don’t get me wrong, I know that I am not the only patient, their waiting room is always full, and I really try to be patient and I make an effort to be nice even when they are stabbing me with a needle…..

Ugh! Ok I am done venting! I feel better and calmer. The truth is, I don’t have much else going on here so it was kinda a welcome change of pace!
I hope that everyone is doing well & I hope yall all know that I miss you!!

I would like to wish Edie a Happy Birthday!!!!
Take care of yourselves!!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxxoxo

Random Photo
I miss that hair......

A simple thank you

2007-11-29T22:21:00.000-05:00

I have to Say Thank you before I say anything else.

I really appreciate how wonderful and supportive all my friends have been while I have been stuck in Houston! I really appreciate the calls & everything! This has been a hard 6 weeks and I have been so grateful for the support!! Thank you so much you all have really helped me make it through!!

I had some great news today! I am officially off the steroids!! That means that hopefully my face will start to go down a little every day! No more chipmunk cheeks!! Whoo hoo!!

In bigger news, my Dr. has approved me to have a double radiation appointment! I know that may sound weird, but it means that I will be done on Dec. 14!!!!!!

I cannot wait to get home, get my life back together, and feel better!!!!!

Of course I will keep you all posted and hopefully I will have more good news to report soon!!!!!

THANK YOU!!!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Sometimes the monotony is hard to take...

2007-11-25T15:29:00.000-05:00

I realize that I have been less than diligent with the blog as of late. To be honest, it is because there is not anything to report here.

I cannot believe that Thanksgiving has come & gone. I love Christmas, but I feel very unprepared.

Gabe came to visit and that was great! By him being here, it breaks up the routine and helps me re-focus on these last weeks. I am So ready to bust out of this place you have no idea!!

My hair has of course started to fall out. It is pretty bad because it is coming out where my head and neck meet, so not only can I not see it or how it looks, but I really do not know how to manage the hair on the top of my head that is still there. Also, the steroids have made my face swell up so big that they can hardly fit it inside my radiation mask anymore.

I come out with this fine mesh look all over my face; it is mildly amusing if it didn’t squeeze so much!

Last but not least, I have moved to an apartment for these last couple of weeks. It is just easier and there is a shuttle that goes between here and the hospital for all my appointments. Now the final countdown begins. My original release date was Dec. 17th. Belive me, I am working overtime to change that to Dec. 14 but we shall see.......

an egg

2007-11-13T21:56:00.000-05:00

I am obsessed with this man!

He is my alter ego at this time! Oh yes, I have officially become an egg. My steroids have kicked in giving me this unmistakable look, perhaps with a little different hair. You make think I am being dramatic but I can assure you that this is the closest representation. And all though I have not fallen off of a wall as of yet, I am working hard to keep my very fragile, very egg-like skin from cracking and peeling! It is an interesting feeling, I am caught looking like something very very out of place, but yet you just can not figure out what that is exactly………..

And so begins the second week as I move more into my little rebellious egg friend, he braved the wall and suffered for it, and I his new proto-egg will learn from his foolish mistake and will return myself and walls in tack!

Vive la Humpty!!!

Week one Day #2

2007-11-07T22:55:00.000-05:00

So realize that the next postings will not have the same air of excitement, because I am not at home, but I must stay up with my chemotherapy digesting, and it is a good way to continue practicing my typing and keep you all updated on the exciting field of brain radiation.! Whoo hoo! I arrived in Houston on Tuesday the 4Th (miss Mandy's birthday) and began my appointments on the 6th(Darren's birthday) So far things are ok. I am on a steroid, a chemotherapy, an anti-nausea, and another drug to try to keep my blood levels from dropping. The days have been a real struggle as my body tries to keep up with the new regime(including a late night wake up for steroids.) I feel as though the medication smell is just seeping out at every pore! Bedsides sleeping when i can, things here are really great. Gabe's family has insured my every comfort & I have my own bedroom & bathroom, which is GREAT!!!! once stamina is back online i hope to have the drive to get a little more creative as well! I can not lie i will certainly be counting the days to my return, but there is a lot for me to be keeping up on as well. I know Mr. Morgan is gearing up for his big ONE and that will be a lot of fun!!! Hopefully there will be lots of new and exciting pictures to see!!! SO, we shall see!! For the last exiting instalment, I will post this week( and next) radiation schedule. Really just for me, but, why not?

11/16@?

ON the subject of dates i would also like to mention that Morgan turns 1 on 11/14, Jillian has a b day on 11/15, Becca and Rachel have b days on 11/16, and Andrew on 11/28! Hope I didn't forget anyone!!

Waaaaaaaahhhh!!!!!

2007-10-30T13:55:00.001-04:00

My stoopid brain is swelling! I just found out! I have been having some really wild nausea, light-headedness, and dizziness like a fun house and I didn’t know why. Well, we know why now! SO….. I have to take steroids again!! I HATE THEM!!! They make me a neurotic and angry, I have terrible insomnia, oh and best of all they make me gain tons and tons of weight!!! Boo hoo!!! I Cannot put into words how much I hate them but, then again, what can you do? I can have my brains squeezing out of my ears now can I? So we take the drugs and hope I can get off them soon!!! Houston here I come!

O-Homecoming!

2007-10-30T13:47:00.000-04:00

IT was GREAT!! I had so much fun and I am so glad that I got to have such a great experience before leaving for Houston. At this point my radiation schedule is 6weeks. It begins on November 5^th and I will return Def. 18^th!!!! Not a big deal and I will of course, be in touch! If you wanna know about Homecoming, I think the pictures say it all!!!

Thank you to everyone who came!! It was so great having all of us together!!!!!!!

SO……..

2007-10-20T23:40:00.001-04:00

I can’t lie, I really don’t wanna write this post. Sometimes what needs to be said is easier in person. My recent Houston results show a small tumor in what looks like the center of my brain. This is a new tumor and the other sites where is was are still clear. I will be spending between 6-8 weeks in Houston and doing radiation and chemotherapy. I know it sounds scary, but it is gonna be just FINE. There are a lot of positive things about this, including the fact that we caught it before I started doing 90day checkups. It is a minor inconvenience, but that is it! I am not worried or upset. I know what to expect, and I know my body responds well to this treatment. As of right now, I don’t have a lot of information. I will be flying to Houston on Wednesday for the initial prep stuff, and then I will be back on Friday for HOMECOMING!!!!! After that, I really don’t know but I will certainly keep everyone posted!

I appreciate all the love and support, and please don’t worry! Yall know this isn’t gonna slow me down!!

I Love You ALL VERY MUCH!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXXOXOXOOXOXOXO

Literal UPS and DOWNS

2007-10-15T16:18:00.001-04:00

So this weekend was totally insane!!

We went to Chicago this past weekend. to celebrate our anniversary and to see Abbi, Andrew & Morgan. On Friday we went to a really nice hotel. We arrived & decided to order Room Service. The meal was great, but to say the evening was a disaster would be an understatement!! After eating dinner I fell asleep. I awoke because I thought I was falling off the bed. When I got up to go to the bathroom the room was spinning like a top. I could not even get to the bathroom and I was grabbing on to anything close to me. I woke up Gabe and told him I thought I needed an ambulance. By the time I managed to say that I discovered that I did not need an ambulance because I had the worst food poisonings of my life!!!!!! I spend the rest of my evening filling the hotel garbage cans to put it nicely! Poor Gabe was busy trying to keep up with me all night! It was absolutely AWFUL!! I really thought I was going to die!! Somehow I pulled myself together by noon the next day! We went & visited Andrew, Abbi, & Morgan and even went out for meals and spent the night! Needless to say I didn’t eat very much, but I did enjoy being with them!! I am feeling better, my back muscles are very sore, but I gotta hang on because I head to Houston tomorrow!

Hope yall are doing better than that!!!!!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Goings On

2007-10-10T12:41:00.000-04:00

This weekend was Julie DeArmond’s wedding & it was beautiful! I had a great time hanging out with Nicole & Ed because there was a Purdue game going on. They were so nice to me & everything was lovely!! I also saw Andrew, Clint and Brandon but it was brief! I didn’t take too may pictures but I have a few!

** more on the photo page**

On Monday I watched Zack. Gabe was off for PU fall break so we made sure we lit Zack’s cigarette & opened his beers!!! ;) He was really good & totally fine with two strangers and two dogs. It was a lot of fun!

Tuesday had a Dr appt. so Gabe went too. On our way to do errands we saw a church was having a pumkin patch! Of course we had to stop!! We got 3 giant pumpkins and I bought some tiny ones! I can’t wait to carve them & post pictures!!!!!!!

Here are my babies!

We are going to Chicago this weekend to see Abbi, Andrew & Morgan and then I will head to Houston on the 16^th. It is a little different this time. Normally, I go for a full 24hrs. Fly in on Sunday & do all tests and meetings on Monday and then fly home. This time, I fly in on a Tuesday do my testing and then meet with my Doctor Wednesday morning and then come home. Of course I will keep everyone posted after the appt!
Coke is good for babies right??

A salute to Middle School!

2007-10-04T13:21:00.000-04:00

Last night I had a dream about Middle School that made me wake up in a panic!. Those 3 years when you begin to figure out who you are, and look horribly awkward doing it! I woke up totally freaked out and I had all those awful & exciting feelings that I had in MS! That time was really strange for me in a lot of ways. Besides having no fashion sense, and probably the worst frizzy hair & braces you have ever imagined!! I know that many girls would say the same, but how did some girls manage to look so cute and together? Ugh! How did they DO that? Middle school was some of the best and worse times for me. My 7^th grade experience was great! I ad everything I wanted at the time, all my friends in the same classes, the attention of a few boys, including my MAJOR crush of the time, and good teachers overall. Then, we moved to IN! Suddenly 8^th grade was in a new state, new people and I was no longer of any interest to anyone. It was a painful time for me. I had been moving into semi-punk/alternative music & style, but I learned quickly that those things weren’t going to fly here. Ahhh middle school…. I had a laundry list of purchases that included Umbros, and shopping at a place called Maurice’s. It took me a couple of weeks of no friends, but I finally convinced a few girls that I was nice! I made some good friends at that school and it got better slowly. I also kept very special friends that I made in GA, and who I might have lost in the growing process of middle/high school. Looking back, I would like to belive that if I had stayed in GA I could have prevented some of the bad things that happened. But I know better than that. I met some wonderful people and although middle school was rough, it taught me a lot. Going from being on the inside to being an outsider helped me understand how that felt. Although I wasn’t always perfect in High School and I made my fair share of mistakes, I would like to think that my middle school experience made me a more compassionate person and more willing to take risks with who I was and who my friends were. The middle schoolers I know today are all about dying their hair, getting boob jobs, and dieting!!!! DIETING?!?!?!? That just scares me! Even though I was awkward & quite un-cute it was ok. My mom never would have allowed me to dye my hair, and I am, pretty sure I ate more junk food that I should have, but it was OK. I know all middle school is about is fitting in, but I am thankful that I was eased into the more grown-up concerns of HS. Looking back, I thought I was grown but I was far from it and I am glad. I just wanted to say that isn’t it amazing how hard Middle School was for most of us? We should all be proud of the people we became because of those awkward years, not re-living those humiliating moments in nightmares!! Congratulations to all of us!!! Isn’t it great we are all so perfect now? (ha ha ha!) I am sharing photos because I am feeling brave & they are funny! Just don't ask about the hair or the clothing!!! ;)

6th Grade

7th Grade(yes, that is me in the blue) (sigh...)
And 8th grade. I know it is a weird photo but I was trying to keep my poor friends out of this! Just so we are clear, that is a navy top with green polka dots and I had on white jeans that were pegged! The hair is better but the clothing is not!
- Just so we are clear, I have always been a natural blond.
In middle school it was a very dirty blond that lightened in the summer!(A girl's gotta defend her roots!!!! ) :)

What A Weekend!

2007-09-24T13:27:00.000-04:00

This past weekend was a lot of fun! I spent Friday afternoon with Jackie & Zachary getting ready for her bachelorette party! On Saturday I got a big surprise when I found out that Abbi, Andrew & Morgan were coming for a visit and to watch the Purdue game, which we won by the way! So I had dinner & drinks with the bachelorette and then back home to spend time with Morgan, Abbi, Andrew, Julie, Jeff, Mike, & Brian. On Sunday we all went out for “bar food” before Abbi & Andrew left town. It was a lot of fun & of course, I took pictures!! Now I am getting ready to go to Georgia for the week to be with my Aunt. Next weekend is Julie’s wedding so I am sure I will have picts to share!

Xoxoxoxoxo Take care!

I feel like I am on a runaway train!

2007-09-20T12:41:00.000-04:00

I swear time has just run away from me lately I feel like I can’t catch up!! Please forgive the list format, but there is a lot of information to share, and not a lot of time to do it in! I promise the next blog will be better!

Kendra & Sam are celebrating the finalization of the adoption of their son Marco this weekend!! Congratulations to 2 wonderful parents!!!
I will be attending a bachelorette party for Miss Julie D. this weekend, should be fun!
My Aunt Carol is having surgery next week. She has a blocked artery in her neck. I will be going to Georgia next week to be there for her surgery but I will be back before the weekend.
My friend Amy will be celebrating her birthday on the 25^th of this month
Jewels has been spending her fall break here & we went to see Halloween the movie, we were the only people in the entire theater, it was scary but fun!
My BF Mandy got engaged in Alaska!!!!!! I am very exited for her, even though she really doesn’t want me to be!
I think I am going w/sweet & innocent for Halloween & wearing a poodle skirt!

OK I think that covers the major life events so far!!! I hope that your lives are a little less runaway than mine & that you are all doing well!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Here are some adorable pictures Kendra & Sam sent me & one of the newly engaged Mandy & Andy!

A little congrats to me!

2007-09-13T11:04:00.000-04:00

So, I just wanted to mention that September 9th 2 years ago is when I found out that I had brain cancer. So yes, I am 2 years in and KICKING ASS! ;)
I just had to mention that!!! So, I am shaking hands with myself right now, and thanking God and all the supportive people I have had in my life!
THANK YOU!!!!!!- it has truly meant so much to me!

xoxoxoxoxxo

Good morning Baltimore!

2007-09-12T13:33:00.000-04:00

So things here have been ~~a little~~ , really busy this past week!

Tuesday I found out my friend Julie was coming to town to see her father. He apparently had suffered a minor stroke on Sunday. I picked her up from the airport on Thursday. Since then I am happy to report that he is doing very well & has been released from the hospital!

On Saturday Jillian’s sister got married! We were invited to the wedding and spent the night in Merrivile. It was a beautiful wedding and we had a lot of fun at the reception. Pictures will be posted!

So Saturday and part of Sunday we were out of town. Unfortunately one of my best friends, Brandon lost his father very unexpectedly on August 28^th. It is so hard to see someone you love go through something so terrible. There can be little comfort when a child looses a parent, no matter how old you may be. Sunday I was in Fort Wayne to be with Brandon and attend the wake on Monday. It was a hard weekend for the White family but they were still as gracious and loving as ever. Jerry will be missed by all who knew him.

On Tuesday morning I flew up to see my brother Matthew in Baltimore. He had just moved there from Washington DC. He has a 3 story row house in a cute neighborhood. We spent a lot of time just unpacking boxes & putting the place together. We did get to have some fun & spent time at the National Aquarium. Of course there are photos!!

While I was out of town Sean & Jen had their little girl Calie! I haven’t spoken to them, but I hear everyone is doing very well!

I also found out that my friend Amy is getting married in July & I will be a bridesmaid! How exciting!!

So now I am back home getting things in order, taking care of business. I hope things are good wherever you may be!!

xoxoxoxoxoxox

Fair warning-this is going to get personal, so don’t read it if personal information makes you uncomfortable!!

2007-08-16T14:26:00.000-04:00

Isn't this picture Gabe took beautiful?!?

So my trip to Houston was a half success. I did not show any re-occurrences, which is great!! However, I am now struggling with a new situation. I recently learned that I am going into early menopause. They really don’t know why that is. At first, they thought that my pituitary gland had gotten radiated when I was going through radiation. I went through some blood tests and that is not the case. I also did a blood test that showed that my ovaries seem to be functioning normally. At this point, the doctors don’t know what to say. There is some discussion that I may begin to take estrogen to allow me to stop the menopause, but the problem is that I could have a re-occurrence with the hormones. Nothing has been decided at this point. Needless to say, this is another painful side effect of my disease. It is hard to not feel old when your having hot flashes and other new issues that is supposed to come around your late 50’s. It is also hard to know how to feel about the possibility of not being able to have kids. I was never sure that I wanted children to begin with. I knew I would have to wait 3 years after chemo to consider it anyway so I haven’t given it any thought. Although right now I don’t feel too upset about this, being told that I “can’t” is never good in my book!!! I may be able to get my body back on track, we just don’t know yet. Whatever happens, I am going to be just fine with it. I have faith that it will work out for the best in either direction, and I have no qualms with adoption if I want children! I just don’t like to keep thing a secret (although some call that privacy) For me, I don’t want to feel ashamed or only post good things all the time. The truth is, life is ups AND downs and there is no reason I can’t share them with the people who love me (and sort-of the whole world too!) Roll with the punches people!! Love You All!!!xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Can you see this one?!?!?

2007-08-08T12:02:00.001-04:00

OK so since I couldn't get the one Abbi did to work I did my own and Gabe's! I don't know how to put us together or anything so... its more of a portrait shot! :)

Lucky Week-play the lottery!!

2007-08-06T10:49:00.000-04:00

Ok so I have been informed that no one can see Abbi’s “Simpsons”, so I will try to make my own & see if they will post…

We had a very fun weekend celebrating Pappi’s last free weekend before returning to school! Sean & Jen came down and she is looking really great, just a few more months! Also, it was a big week for my friend Amy who got engaged!! She has asked me to be a bridesmaid sometime in May/June of next year!! Congrats Amy!! ;)

Also, I think its not official news yet, but 2 of my friends had a very good weekend a well! ( you know who you are)

SO.. I am hoping this means that we are all in for smoother sailing ahead! Have a good week!! xoxoxxo

This is Amy & I on the Swiss Alps

Big things are a happening (just kidding)

2007-07-31T15:02:00.000-04:00

I rode a bike!! I know it may sound stupid, but I am really proud of myself! I didn’t ride for long, and it was just around the neighborhood once, but I got on, I rode, (albeit shakily) and was able to stop and get off on my own!! We have a lot of nice bike trails around here (paved, not mountain biking) so I am hoping that maybe this weekend if its nice, I will try one out!! Ahhh!! I better get a really loud horn to warn other people away!! I am also looking in to getting a pair of roller-skates! Is anyone feeling nervous yet?!?!?!?

In other news I am looking forward to a visit from Abbi & Morgan on the 17^th! That is going to be a lot of fun! I saw the Simpson’s Movie & Loved it!

I am heading to Houston on the 12^th for an appt on the 13^th. I will keep yall posted.

Finally, I have a request that may seem a little odd……. I have a good friend who is going through some very difficult times right now. If you pray, meditate, or whatever, Please keep him in your thoughts & prayers. I appreciate it, and I know he would too.

Thank you so much!

Xoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxo

California LO-OVE……

2007-07-26T12:17:00.001-04:00

So Cali was truly fantastic! We rented a Gunmetal Gray VW bug convertible, put the top down, and never looked back! San Diego was nice. We did the wild animal park, saw Gabe’s cousin, Gabe surfed and had a great time and we visited with Shamu! By the way, he does a great show!! The last day of surfing we packed up and headed up the Pacific Coast Highway(PCH or Hwy 1) It is a beautiful drive up the coast of California. We did the drive in two days, stopping in San Simeon to see the Hearst Castle, the amazing home of William Randolph Hearst. (That is one of his pools pictured below)

After that we got back on the PCH and headed for San Francisco! My friend Bridget lives in Knob Hill in the city and we stayed with her for the rest of our trip. SF is one of the most beautiful places to me. I loved going to sleep to the sound of fog horns and waking up to them as well. Hearing the clang of the cable cars and feeling the ever-present breeze. I may sound over the top, but SF is one of my loves. There is a reason for the song “I left my Heart in SF” We had so much fun with Bridget! We did Fisherman’s Wharf, Muir Woods(redwoods), Alcatraz & Angel Island. We also went up to Napa Valley and had some fun at the wineries, and of course, hit Ghirardelli Square for a much deserved chocolate break! We had a delicious dinner in the Italian distrct and I must say we certainly never went hungry in SF! It was truly a fantastic trip! I am posting more of the photos on my picture site.
xoxoxoxoxoxox

Here we go!!

2007-07-11T10:35:00.000-04:00

OK so this Thursday I am headed out to the other side of the world, California! My flight leaves at 5 am, yes 5 am, so I am spending the night in Indy so I won't have to wake up at 3am! I am heading to San Diego for about 4 days, then doing the scenic drive up the coast. We will be stopping in San Simeon for the night & will probably take a tour of the Hearst Castle. Then we will be in San Fransico with my good friend Bridget until the 23, when we return.

I am sure I will have lots of photos to post, and I know I have a lot of catching up to do with my photo album page, but I did get the link working so yall can check it out. I hope everyone gets to enjoy beautiful sunny skies, great weather, and NO flight delays while I am gone,just like I will be!(I hope!)
Lots of love!!
xoxoxxoxoxoxo

Fireworks or Bust!

2007-07-05T16:53:00.001-04:00

So… my 4^th was supposed to be spent on a pontoon boat, cruising around & then watching beautiful fireworks from the water. Um yeah. All I saw were the few bottle rockets Pappi’s neighbors set off from their driveway. Why you ask? Because all weather men are LIARS!! Even the high and might Weather channel was wrong!! Everything was saying we were going to have severe thunderstorms from 4pm(the time we were picking up the boat) until after midnight. So we cancelled the boat. Not that I’m bitter or anything….

We did have a nice cookout at Pappi’s and played some games so I am not really complaining. I just wanted to cry about the weather man!!!!

Hooray!

2007-07-03T09:20:00.000-04:00

The grown- up furniture is in the house!! it isn't perfect, there is a mirror to hang, a lid to put on, and some arranging to do, but it is in!! Check out the photos below. Also I now have found my new photo home! It is on myphotoalbum.com. I like it better than flicker because it arranges my picts in albums so it is easy to choose the ones you want to look at! Right now, I only have 1 album from our latest social event, but bear with me they will all be back soon! I have changed the link on the side so yall can check it out or bookmark it with: http://gracie210170.myphotoalbum.com

xoxoxoxoxxoxo

The Tuesday/Wednesday Nite Mixed CD party and other new developments

2007-07-02T10:50:00.000-04:00

Well the party was a success!! I think we all agree that next time we will have to limit them to like 2 songs because it is way too long for each person to have 30 mins. There were some interesting mixes and although we never named an “official” winner, I am pretty sure I won! ;) We had more people for this one witch was great!! The craziest thing was an old friend of mine, Ryan, came!! I was shocked and happy. We hung out for a long time catching up! It was great! So on Sunday night I went to hang out with him and another old friend, Luke was there too. So we all caught up and hung out. It was in a way surreal, because we really just picked up like no time had gone by. It was great and a lot of fun! I love those guys and I hope to see them both again soon!!
Also, I am proud to say I have made an “adult” purchase.(no, no not that kind) I bought a bedroom suite!! It comes tomorrow!!! No more college furniture. Although my beloved black bed will remain with me, just in the guest bedroom (whenever I have one of those) So, I am pulling out all my drawers and getting ready!! I can’t wait, and of course I will post a photo when it is all in!
Speaking of photos, I already HATE the new flicker site! Sooo…. I think I am moving my picts AGAIN to a site called mt photo album, but I gotta checkout their site. I will let you know where the photos are going! That is all for now. I hope everyone is doing well!!! Love Ya!! xoxoxoxoxxoxoxo

ARG!!

2007-06-29T17:43:00.001-04:00

So just an FYI for those of you who look at my photo page, Yahoo is shutting down their photo page! So I am moving everything over to a site called Flickr. Everything should remain the same & I will be changing any links I have to the page as well, just bear with me while I get my over 100 albums transferred to this new site & upload the GA & Visit photos I have! Ugh! If this site sucks, then I will be moving again, they just were willing to do the whole transfer thing because Yahoo owns Flickr! I dunno when it will all be up and running so just keep checking!

Love Ya!!!!!

I am 31 Flavors and then some

2007-06-27T16:47:00.000-04:00

Ok ok ok, I know I have been slacking! I have been gone for the month of June so lets re-cap shall we? The beginning of June was the Florida trip( read previous blog) After returning on the 9th, I got the opportunity to see Kendra & Sam for lunch on my way back to the airport. It was great, not a long enough visit, but it was wonderful to see baby Marco & how much he has grown!!! Houston went very well & I apologize if I have left anyone scared or worried, I just haven't had a lot of time to write this all down!! So, back from Houston I headed to Georgia for a strictly family visit(I did see Jewels one night though!) I really enjoyed spending time with my family. Upon my return home on the 23 I had a wonderful surprise, Danielle, Eric, Hadley and Imogen were here!! AND it was Abbi's birthday and she and Andrew came and stayed here!!!!! I was thrilled and we had a LOT of fun together!!! It was a great way to end my June travels! So I am now here for a bit before Gabe & I head to California in July. Whew,.... I think I need a nap!!! ;) xoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxo

2007-06-14T15:16:00.000-04:00

Well, the trip to Florida was a lot of fun. It was good to spend quality time with people you love! I am really hoping that this is going to turn into an annual event! After I got back from FL I got to spend a little time with Kendra, Sam, & Marco before heading to the airport! It was great to see them! I then headed to Houston and thankfully everything was clear! Even the 4 hour delay couldn't ruin things after that news! So now I am home but not for long, I head out this Saturday to spend a week in Georgia! I have no doubt it will be fun, but I wish my brother was coming along to complete the family fun tour! So when I get back, it will be Abbi's birthday & we will be celebrating here in Lafayette! That should be a lot of fun! Once June is over I expect things to calm down a little. I still need to make some plans for the fourth of July though!! If you are interested in the photos from my trip to Florida they are on my photo page. (there are A LOT)

I hope everyone is doing well! I wish I had more exciting things to talk about, but maybe for once that is a good thing!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Supergoodtime

2007-05-30T12:27:00.001-04:00

Arg! This is a re-write because I lost the original!

The SuperGoodtime Party went off without a hitch! We had a big surprise from a founding member of the Tuesday/Wednesday Nite Club when Mr. Tim Johnston came all the way from Colorado!! It was so great to see him and I think everyone had a great time!! I hope that everyone who didn’t make it to this party can come to our second party on June 30^th! You can of course, see all my photos on my photo page!

So now I am getting ready to head down to Florida. We are having a friend vacay with Andrew, Abbi, Brian, Eric, Danielle and all the kids. It should be a lot of fun although I am a little concerned about it being really hot! When I arrive back in Indiana on the 9th I will be meeting Kendra & Sam in Indianapolis on the 10th for lunch, and then heading right back to the airport to fly to Houston! After that, I will be hopping in a car on the 17^th to drive to Georgia with my family. On the way home from Georgia I will be dropped off in Indianapolis so that I can meet up with Abbi & Andrew and celebrate her birthday! So by the end of June my head will be spinning and I won’t know where the hell I am!! But yall know I love travel and it will all be fun!! Take care of yourselves!!!! xoxoxoxo

Summer has come hooray!

2007-05-21T12:11:00.000-04:00

I know my blogging has been lagging lately and apologise, I know yall are out there loosing sleep cause you don't know what is going on with me! ha! We recently celebrated Gabe's birthday! Ted, Fred, Sean & Jen, Matt and April, were all on hand to celebrate, as well as mother's day! We had a lot of fun! We went golfing, hung out at Chumley's and had a little party at the house as well. There are plenty of pictures of the festivities on my photo page! For Mother's Day we re-did her flower garden, complete with fountain!

The next day my Aunt Carol came up from Cordele, GA to spend a week with me. We had a really good time and I was the official tour guide of the Lafayette area. I think she really enjoyed her trip!

Finally this Saturday we went to see Karla & Anthony's new son Carson Foster DeNicola!! He is adorable and has the prettiest red hair!! It was great to meet him and Karla looks great too!

So, now I am preparing for the SuperGood Time Summer Party hosted by the Tuesday/Wednesday Club scheduled for around Memorial Day! If you got an evite, please send it back people!! I am sure I will have lots of photos from that!!

I hope yall are all doing well!!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Wedding Wonderful!

2007-05-04T15:28:00.000-04:00

Kim & Brandon, brother & sis how cute!! Me & My Boyz (wish it wasn't blurry!)

So amidst my stress filled weeks I did have a lot of fun this past weekend. My friend Brandon’s sister, Kim got married. So we headed up to Ft. Wayne to participate! The cool thing was, Brandon got to invite some of his friends (who are my friends too) so it was a LOT of fun for us, kinda a mini-reunion. The wedding was beautiful and the reception was really nice too. The food was good, and the free wine even better! After people left my little crew hung out for a while. Then we headed out for a short but hilarious night out on the town in the Fort! It was a great weekend and I really enjoyed seeing my boyz again! It made me miss our old times at The Lodge! I will post all the picts on my photo page, but here are a few!! I hope that everyone out there is doing well!! Congratulations Kim & Jullian!!!

Love ya! xoxoxoxo

MIA

2007-04-20T12:51:00.000-04:00

Ok this little entry is gonna be short and sweet! I know that I have been kinda missing the last couple of days but I have been living out of a Comfort Inn hotel room in Indianapolis this past week. I have been taking Real Estate Appraiser’s courses. It is 4 very intense courses that will start me on the path to becoming a Real Estate Appraiser! Basically I go to class from 8-5 everyday & then go to my hotel room so that I can study the things I learned in class that day, then repeat for the next 3 days after that. I know it is going to be worth it, but it is easy to loose your perspective in a situation like that. So… I will write more when I can, and try to keep you updated on my progress! Here are some random photos for a little fun in a boring entry!!

I guess I don’t know what cool is!

2007-04-10T13:04:00.000-04:00

So, for those of yall that check my blog, you may have noticed a few comments from someone named “finger”. Apparently, it is now cool to ridicule a stranger with cancer on their blog site. The thing is, I think it is funny. Crazy? Yes. Rude? Absolutely. However, you gotta laugh when a stranger takes the time to write insulting comments on your blog, which they clearly just created a log-in JUST so they could write these things on my blog! I know that I could set up my site so that I would approve every comment that came my way, but why? I don’t want to monitor this site that close, and I guess I just don’t care enough! I did want to mention it so that everyone knew about it and knew that I had seen it as well. So….. it is certainly weird, but I guess to each their own!!

2007-04-04T12:02:00.000-04:00

I am happy to report that my MRI scans from Houston still show that everything is clear!! Needless to say I am thrilled and relived!! I still have some low blood counts but otherwise things are good. I will return for another checkup in July . Besides recouping from the long trip, I am now beginning to explore different job opportunities. As I have said, I probably won’t begin working until July or August, but I am trying to figure out WHAT I want to do WHEN I am ready to do it!!

Thank you to everyone’s thoughts and prayers for my successful checkup!!!!xoxoxoxoxoxxo

Relay for Life

2007-03-22T12:00:00.000-04:00

It is time again for Relay for Life and Gabe is walking again this year (I think my parents are as well) If you are not familiar to the event, you camp out overnight, walk around the track for 24 hrs (because cancer never sleeps), and meet many new people. There is an incredible tribute to cancer survivors and caregivers that starts off the night and a moving ceremony honoring those who have fought the disease. It’s a night full of fun, hope, and remembrance. I am considering going out there this year but, to be honest I am a little afraid. I don't want to to get all emotional and also I know last year they put my picture on this board of who they were walking for and I think I would feel stupid with my picture up there and me being there... but if I can, I want to walk to support all the other people with cancer. I know I have been just so fortunate that I can not belive it every single day. I know other people have not been as fortunate and I know they need my support. It is a difficult decision to make and I have a lot of things to figure out before I make my decision. I have put a link to Gabe's RFL page if you are local & want to join his team, or if you want to make a donation, just click on the link!

BOring

2007-03-22T11:39:00.000-04:00

So things have been pretty quiet around here lately. I am getting ready to head back to Houston at the beginning of April and that is about it as far as news goes. I did have a great trip to Atlanta & all the photos will be posted on my picture website! We did fondue, a martini bar,tea, and manis & pedies! What more could a girl ask for!! I had a good St. Patty’s Day as well. I ended up seeing some people I hadn’t seen since High School, always interesting. Right now I am just trying to rebuild my stamina and figure out what kind of job I want after all the summer trips are over…Sorry to be so boring, but you know it never stays that way for long around here!!

Breaking up is hard to do..

2007-03-05T11:51:00.000-05:00

I don’t care what anyone says, friendships are the same as romantic relationships (just w/out the romance) I am going through a bad breakup right now and it is making me a bit crazy. I have been in this relationship for over 10 years and been there through thick and thin. Now, my girlfriend gets a boyfriend and I no longer exist. I have been dumped! Thrown over for some guy! I just don’t understand people who can just toss friends out like garbage! I mean, really, you have sooo many friends that you just can’t have any more? (Truthfully I believe that it is the guy who has convinced her to stop speaking to me. )And that is the biggest insult to our relationship that I can imagine. I have been really upset about this, but no more! I am done worrying about it and being upset/stressed. I cannot control this and frankly, seeing this just shows me that I obviously didn’t know her! So… no more stressing about this, or talking about it I promise!!

I am really excited because I am going to Altanta on Wednesday!! It will be so great to go back to my hometown & see all my friends! I will have plently of photos & stories I am sure when I get back! Unfortunatley, this means I am going to miss another sudo-secret trip I had planned. I can not write about it just in case this gets read but, have fun boys !! Wish I could be there!!

Space is Filling up Fast!

2007-02-27T12:11:00.000-05:00

I don't know how this always happens. I lead an incredibly boring life and then all of a sudden, I am going all over the place at once!! But I wouldn't have it any other way! I love to travel and I am fortunate that I get to do so much of (recreational travel that is, I am not counting all my trips to Houston when I say that) My summer is gonna be awesome & busy! I am going to see a lot of good friends and get to see some amazing places! Here is a short run down:

Ft. Wayne
Durham
Indy (twice)
Tampa/Sarasota
Atlanta(of course)
San Diego
San Fransisco
Possibly DC
That is a lot of travel but it is gonna be great. I have been going through a little bit of a rough patch lately so I am ready to drop my baggage at the door and fly away this summer! If anyone else wants me to visit, you know I would love to, just let me know! It is just so crazy when things go from quiet and boring to 3 months of fun.... another reason why I love summertime!!

ps for those of you who want to know I will be going back to Houston on April 1&2!

Please Don’t Look for my Name in the Obituaries!!

2007-02-15T17:07:00.000-05:00

So, I was in Target today and I ran into an old friend from college. I had seen her once before, so she already knew I had been sick. We were catching up & talking and she was apologizing for loosing my phone number. She said “I lost your number but I have been checking the obituaries for your name!!!!!” I am not making this up.

I thought my mom was going to come from behind me and rip her face off. I am sure I had a weird look on my face. I almost said, well, I’m not dead yet! But I was nice, I know she wasn’t trying to be mean, I think its funny! Sometimes I guess you have to remember that. It is truly amazing what comes out of people’s mouths sometimes!! So think before you speak & also, don't take it too personal, usually people aren't trying to be hurtful!
I just had to share this little jem!

sorry it's blurry it was so cold my camera couldn't focus!! :)

Snow Daze

2007-02-14T14:10:00.000-05:00

We have been having a lot of fun in the white stuff around here! A couple of days ago we went over to the golf course and did some sledding. I did not wish to bust my head open, so I just watched & got a few photos. It was very funny watching them slide around! Then, last night we got 17inches of snow!! All my friends came over and we had a slumber party complete with video games, board games, and beer! Talk about a great way to spend a crappy night!!!
Xoxoxoxoxox
PS I hope everyone has a great Valentine’s Day, even if you hate it!!

It's all Random to me!!!

2007-02-12T13:22:00.000-05:00

OK I thought I would write an entry with just whatever came into my head. I hope it is at least interesting… maybe next time I will try stream of consciousness…..

So it has been really quiet around here lately. Besides hanging out with friends, I haven’t been doing too much stuff. I have decided that I am going to wait to look for a job after I go back to Houston for my next MRI. It is really hard not to get so caught up in concern that something is going to come back. I have decided not to return to school. The fact is that after leaving school, I am now paying on the student loans I took out for a degree I am never going to get. That is frustrating to me! So, now I am trying to think about what I want to DO…. Can I say nothing?! Or something totally nuts like be a backup singer for someone, or replace one of the Dixie chicks?? Do you think there is an opening there??

On another subject, I am having a real struggle with a friend of mine. I have given it a lot of thought and I think I am going to have to treat it as if they are addicted to crack. I have said time & time again, get help, stop doing this, can’t you see it is destroying you? Every time this person gets “clean” they are too weak to stay that way. By standing by and continuing to be disapproving but supportive, am I still enabling them?? Not to mention that it makes me sick and scared constantly and I just don’t think I have the energy for that. But if I am not there who will be? Should I worry about that? It is a dilemma I am struggling with.

It is supposed to snow its ass off tonight… should be interesting!

If you get in contact with someone you haven’t seen in 10 yrs, and you tell them you would like to get together, don’t you think you should actually DO THAT instead of just ignoring them and pretending like you never said that?!?! I mean are you just SOO great or just THAT busy that you can be phoney and no one calls you on it!?!?!

Sometimes people just suck!

Finally, take care of yourselves!!! xoxoxoxoxoxox

The Finish Line!!!!

2007-01-30T12:00:00.000-05:00

After a little over a year, I am DONE with Chemotherapy!!! I just got back from TX and I am now almost completely drug free!!! I still have to go back for MRIs, but I am just thrilled to be off the drugs. After standing still for so long I don't even know where to begin! I know there are new challenges to face but, I will just keep putting one foot in front of the other & let the chips fall where they may!! So where is my life gonna take me next!?!?!

I never knew how important 1% could be….

2007-01-17T12:42:00.000-05:00

I have been under a rain cloud for 2 days now… I can’t say it’s all sunshine now but it is getting better.

I had a visit with my Dr. here in town. I have always been aware that my cancer is very aggressive and that it has a high return rate. I made the mistake of asking, “how high is that?”

It is 99%.

There is a 99% chance that I will have a re-occurrence at some point. I still don’t know what to say about that. I am stunned. I am shocked. I wasn’t prepared.

I also found out that he wants me to remain on chemotherapy. For how long? I don’t know. I still have to go to MD Anderson to hear what they think…

I thought I was done. I thought I could go back to real life…

I know it is going to be ok. I know that things will get better. I know that I cannot loose faith or hope. I just didn’t know I guess…

SO here’s to 1% the percent I hope to be!!!
All my love xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

on hold...

2007-01-11T14:51:00.000-05:00

I know my entries have been few and far between but I have been busy playing with my Wii!! Just kidding! It really is a lot of fun though! You can bowl, play tennis, etc. and it feels soo real! Very cool!! Really there isn't much going on around here right now.Besides being really really tired all the time, things are the same. I am in a holding pattern waiting to go to Houston at the end of the month. For once I Really wanna get down there!! This is my final month of the chemotherapy medical trial I have been on for a year now!! At this checkup I may get off these drugs completely! I am not getting too excited, because as I have learned, this illness is really unpredictable. BUT.... if I get off the drugs, I can get a job, go back to school, all kinds of normal stuff!! Of course I will post when I get back but probably not much until then unless something interesting happens! By the way, I just discovered my photo link isn't working! I will repair it so if you wanna see more New Years photos it will work! sorry!!

I thought something was REALLY funny!!

Christmas & New Years

2007-01-04T00:14:00.000-05:00

I know I have been MIA but it has been a very busy holiday season!! We had a great Christmas even though we had to celebrate on the 27th. My brother Matthew had to work, so Santa had to wait. Now, for those of you who know me, that was TORTURE!! But I did it, because I love my little brother. I was very good and did not open a single present until he came!! And boy was it worth the wait!! My Memaw cooked all our favorites and then it was time for the gifts! I won’t go through them all, but in my family Christmas is the time to give good presents!! I got a Wii!!!!!!! My sweet little brother stood a Target outside in the cold in D.C. from 4am to 8am to be the 11th out of 15 people to get a Wii! And he gave it to me!!! Now THAT is love huh? I was totally shocked!! And by the way, it is sooo fabulous and fun!! In turn, I surprised Gabe with a trip to Surf School in San Diego!! He was blown away & I think really excited! Finally, my parents surprised Gabe with a gia-normous air hockey table!! The boy racked up, but he deserved it!

New Years in Chicago was fantastic!! I was so lucky to have so many friends there! Although The Hard Rock Hotel was a little crazy with security, everyone seemed to have a blast and it was well worth the effort and money!! I will be posting photos soon!!! I celebrated my 15-month mark in style!!! I am looking forward to this New Year. I go back to Houston at the end of this month and will have completed my entire medical trial. Where we go from here remains to be seen, but I am just looking up!! My resolution is to write a life list and work on it. I am really ready to see some things changing now that my health should be improving at the end of the month!! I would like to say that the past couple of year has been a struggle for me, but I am grateful. I learned a lot about myself and it made me stronger. I also cannot say enough how much my friends have done to pull me through. You made this so much easier with your unwavering support!! Thank You, I Love You!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxox

Lunch with the Ladies

2006-12-19T12:20:00.000-05:00

So yesterday was a lot of fun! I picked up Jewels from the airport and then we went to The Cheesecake factory and had dinner with Jackie, Julie, and Karla. Both Karla and Jackie brought their "men" so there was a lot of talk of kids and old times! We even managed to make a giant mess before we left!! :0

I had a great time! Thanks ladies for starting the holidays off right!!! IF you want to see all the photos from the evening, go to my photo links and they are under "December dinner". I say it all the time but, I have the BEST friends ever!!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

Excitment is in the air..even if cold is not!!

2006-12-18T12:14:00.000-05:00

I am getting more excited for the holidays! Today Jewels arrives & I am picking her up to go see Jackie & Zach! That should be fun! Then Sat. we are going to Anderson to see Morgan for the first time! I am really looking forward to meeting him and also viewing Andrew's apparently glorious "Ditka moustache". This is for the Bears and shall remain on his face until the Bears loose. And so, in turn, Gabe is growing a "Reed moustache" for the Philly Eagles until they are knocked out of the play-offs !! I thought Andrew looked great with a beard, but I really REALLY dislike moustaches!! This is going to be interesting... xoxoxoxo

Good bad news

2006-12-11T15:53:00.000-05:00

So I am back on Chemo. I am glad, but at the same time I am annoyed. I have only been on it since Fri. and I am already just dragging. So there goes my idea of getting a full time job!! Ahhh I cannot win!!! I think I will just focus on the fact that it is Christmas, and if I can just get through this LAST part, things will start moving forward again! I just wanted to give everyone an update, and now Kendra doesn’t have to worry!! :)

xoxoxoxoxo

I have taken up Hunting…

2006-12-07T10:17:00.000-05:00

Job Hunting that is! I am on the lookout for a job. I know that it might seem insane, but I would like to have some money again. And that is not insane. I don’t mind applying for jobs, but I just have to be careful that I choose something that doesn’t require a lot of standing. I would also prefer something that was at the least semi-professional. Boy, I can’t wait to try to explain all of this in an interview! If I ever see an interview… I will keep you all posted. Also, I am (as always) waiting to hear what is going to happen with chemo/Texas trips as we speak. My blood counts were better, but not high enough to re-start chemo. Also, it could be false numbers because of the “new” blood in my body.. We shall see….I always seem to be waiting for something huh? Hopefully better news is on the way! Stay warm everyone!! xoxoxoxoxoxo

Charles Cotner

2006-12-04T10:37:00.000-05:00

I am so sad to report that Mr. Charles L. Cotner, Kendra’s grandfather passed away recently. In our families are very close, so for all of the Register’s and Register-Bryant’s it is just like loosing a member of the family. Our hearts go out to all of the Montgomery, Montgomery-Blinn, Blann, & Cotner families. I know we will all miss his stories and jokes, and I personally will never be able to look at almonds or the end of a bottle of wine without thinking of Papa Charles. He will be missed.

Thanksgiving

2006-11-28T10:18:00.000-05:00

So, I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Ours was small, but with a lot of great food! Obviously, I went in the night before to have a blood transfusion. It really isn’t bad, but 2 bags of blood take 5 hrs to pump in. Also, you can estimate about another 2 hrs to get typed & get the blood to your room. I went in at about 3:30pm and got out at about 12:30am!! Over Thanksgiving we got the chance to see Kendra & Sam. It wasn’t under the best circumstances, but we did get to meet their new son Marco. He is certainly a beautiful baby!! We also managed to get all our Christmas decorations up over the holiday! Impressive huh? I hope that everyone is doing well and preparing their Christmas cards!! haha! :)

Xoxoxoxoxoxox
Gracie

2006-11-22T14:06:00.000-05:00

Blood counts have dropped twice in 2 weeks. I am going in for a transfusion this afternoon. Hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!! All my love!!

Welcome Morgan Allan Witherspoon!!!

2006-11-17T11:21:00.000-05:00

Abbi & Andrew welcomed thier new son (no longer jelly) Morgan Allan Witherspoon on November 14th, not too far away from his proud pappa's b-day! I got photos so it was time to make the offical announcement! They are all home now & doing fine and he is a cutie!! There must be something in the water that is making all my friends have boys!! Hayden, Zachary, Marco,and Morgan all this year!! That means Sailor Suits all around!! ha ha! I am so happy for my friends, and so impressed that they are REAL grown ups---parents!! Congrats!!

Having a Party (a pity party) :)

2006-11-10T10:52:00.000-05:00

Ok with the encouragement from Karla, I really need to vent for a moment. My blood work is still the same!!!! I am just so frustrated with it. I thought for sure that 2 weeks would handle this. I have to go back for lab work next Wednesday, but it begins to be depressing when you feel like you are making no progress… How can I get well if I can’t complete my clinical trial? How can I start moving on with my life if low blood counts make me tired and I know I still have a lot of chemo to make up… it really isn’t as much about the blood work as it is just frustration as to where my life is right now. ON HOLD. I really want to look for jobs, but now that chemo is being pushed back it is hard for me to know when that will be a possibility. Then there is school… the debt going to school is creating is becoming an issue for me. Also, I know what I want to do, but the program won’t start until next fall! So that is another year of my life just waiting for a program!! I will be 85 and a recent graduate at this point!!!!! (insert a scream here ) I know, I know, I must be patient, and I am. I am grateful for everything I have and everyone!! This is just another moment of frustration, which I know will pass, and I know that everyone feels. It is sometimes hard for me to even vent about things because I know how lucky I am. I see people all the time who are suffering way more that I am and I feel guilty for having the gall to complain when I know how bad it can be…So forgive my selfishness as someone who is just overt-tired and just a little bit lost at the moment. Don’t worry though, it is gonna get better I know it. My blood work will get better & so will I!!! :) All my love xoxoxoxoxoxo Gracie

ARG!

2006-11-08T15:27:00.000-05:00

That is the nicest way to put what I am feeling into words. There are other choice words I might use but I am trying to be nice. I am just frustrated. I finally got my lab results last night (lab work was done LAST FRIDAY!! But I finally got it, and my blood counts have not improved much. This means that I cannot be in Kansas City when Abbi has her baby. I have been really upset about this, but there is nothing I can do about it. Meeting baby Jelly will just have to wait till Thanksgiving… This also means I am off the chemo schedule until further notice. This could cause me to have to do this whole trial for even longer if things don’t get better!! I will be having labs drawn again this Thursday so I will keep you posted on the results when I get them. I could go on and list some of my other frustrations, but I really don’t think you want to read all that and just thinking about them makes me say “arg!!
Here is a happy photo:

Baby Sophie!

Cut off from the World..

2006-10-31T00:44:00.000-05:00

That is not necessarily a bad thing but I must admit I am getting a little lonely for my friends & my life! I am down in Cordele GA, on my family’s pecan farm. It would not be so bad if my cell phone & internet worked like they should. But they are shaky at best, and half the time they don’t work at all! It is kinda sad how much I adore technology! So I have been reading yall’s blogs, I just can’t do a lot of commenting. So… I spent a couple of days in Indy and a day in Houston before I came to the farm. Indy was great but c-o-l-d!!!!!! I did get to spend some time though with Karla, who is going to be a mommy for the second time!! Congrats mama Karla!! I really enjoyed our time together!! Houston was the usual type trip, sweet & sour. My MRI still looks really good & clear, but I now have such low blood counts that I had to have a blood transfusion. That was a new experience & a LONG one!! Now, when I am around people I am supposed to wear a MASK to avoid getting sick! Nothing is quite as sexy as wearing a surgical mask around in the airport!! Whoo hoo! If I get sick, I have to go to the hospital immediately, so keep your germs away!! The farm has been a great place to recoup and grow some more red & white cells!! My Memaw has been cooking all my favorites, the weather is warm, abd they spoil me really bad down here!! I feel good about coming home (Nov. 2nd)& taking my next blood test! If everything looks good, I will be heading out to see miss Abbi & to be there when the baby comes! You know, you can’t keep me down, blood or no blood!!!

BABY MARCO IS HERE!!!

2006-10-31T00:38:00.000-05:00

JUST SOO CUTE!!!!!!

Kendra & Sam have a new baby boy, Marco Anthony Montgomery-Blinn!!! He was born on October 12, and Kendra & Sam picked him up on October 23!!
From the beautiful pictures they have sent, he is oh-so-cute!!!! I am so happy for them and I know they are ecstatic about their new addition!! I am really looking forward to a trip to North Carolina to see this sweet baby!! Congratulations Yall!!!!!!xxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Rubber Ducky you’re the one….

2006-10-09T14:19:00.000-04:00

Abbi’s baby shower was this weekend. Things went very well if I do say so myself! And, I do!! It was nice to see A&A again of course, and I got to spend some time with her fabulous family!! Both she, and Andrew have great families! Now I am just gearing up for my trip to Houston on October 23rd. After that, I am going to be in Cordele GA for a while spending some time on the farm and with my Memaw and my Aunt! I hope I am not bored, but I think it will do me some good to get away! But don’t worry; I don’t leave home with out my laptop!! I am totally thrilled that fall has finally arrived!! Although I won’t be home to dress up for Halloween (my 2nd fav. Holiday) You can bet I will be carving at least one pumpkin while I am on the farm!! I am sure I will post between now & my departure, so everyone take care!! Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Hold your Breath Cause I’m Going Deep

2006-10-03T15:44:00.000-04:00

I have been thinking a lot about forgiveness lately. I realized that although I don't think I am a person that holds grudges, I am still carrying around some extra baggage I just can't seem to put down. Rude comments, friends who let me down, someone who humiliated me.... If I no longer think about this stuff or more importantly care about it, than why is it that I can re-tell the story of the incident almost word for word? I think that I have been in denial about these things, and more importantly that I need to simply forgive the people who have hurt me. Period. It does not matter that they may STILL be an awful jerk, or that they don't deserve my forgiveness. The fact is, I don't think I am able to be truly done with some of this crap until I can find a way to forgive people who have never apologized and who may not even know they need my forgiveness. Overall, I need to forgive them so that I can let this stuff go. Does that mean I plan to run out and give them all big hugs, or be BFF? Nope, it just gives me an ending; it allows me to forgive myself. Because if you really think about it, these grudges we hold, the painful words we recall, all of the things we still hold on to.... The reason it is so upsetting is because you begin to wonder if they are right. You get scared that either they can see the things you are trying to hide, or else there is something there you never saw. It touches on your insecurities. And so you turn it in on yourself You berate yourself using their words or actions as proof that all the bad things you think about yourself are true... It is a lot to think about but I am working on truly letting go and forgiving them and myself so I can use my energy on things for me! Lots of Love!! xoxoxoxoxox

The Moving Party...

2006-10-03T15:13:00.000-04:00

OK…. So New Years plans have changed! I am actually glad, except I am betting that my friends Becca & Brad & Bridget won’t come now.. Prove me wrong guys!!! We are now going to Chicago. It makes a lot of sense with everyone’s budget and I think we can still have a lot of fun there! It isn’t Vegas I know, but I guess we will have to save that for another year… when we are all rich, and no one is having babies, and everyone has planned early enough, and no one is starting a new job, and….. Ok well maybe when we can just all agree to it sooner. Or maybe never knowing my crew!!!! Also the pink toothbrush mystery has been solved yay!! So that is the latest from my little corner, I hope that all of yall are doing well! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Random Photo:Brian, Becca, Gabe & Brad

Does this look familiar to you?!?

2006-09-29T15:32:00.000-04:00

If it does, it is because you left it at my house this weekend!! Let me know, and I will send it to you!! So… not much to report this week. I have been thinking about some of the people from the reunion and wishing I had more time to talk to some of them in depth. It seems weird to catch up with people you haven’t seen in 10 years for just a few hours and then not speak to or see them for another 5 years! I am hoping maybe it dosen’t have to be that way?? I dunno…So I am really getting frustrated with this whole Vegas New Years trip thing. I had a lot of people who wanted to go, but as the time grows closer the momentum seems to be fizzeling. I totally understand that a lot of people can’t commit to this because of cost & vacation time… so I just don’t know what to do. I certainly don’t wanna go all the way out there to celebrate a huge milestone and New Years and have no one else come…. I guess we will just have to see what happens!

Random Photo!

Some things never change......

So you know once I start blogging I can’t stop

2006-09-25T15:08:00.000-04:00

Ok so this was supposed to come after the anniversary post but I have been a little busyand somewhat reluctant to share because I don't want people to think I think I am just soo great. My darling poet friend sent me some more poems.They are all really amazing but I am only posting this one because I know they would prefer to remain anonymous. I am not some ego maniac or anything, I just like sharing the talent that this person has. And if I had some poems that did not involve me I certainly would share those. Maybe that is why I only get these…. But I did decide to share this one with all of yall because it is so good and says some of the things I fumble around trying to say. xoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

ANNIVERSARY

A year ago today
I was in a wheelchair, glued flat
Between moments of lucid walking, of stumbling about.
I couldn’t drive, I couldn’t type.
It took me at least thirty minutes to struggle pants on.
A bra— impossible—
And I ran into everything, my body denying the brain its commands,
Chuckling in a rebellion I could recognize, but not feel,
Nerves thin beneath a body denied its most basic functions.

A year ago today
I was in a wheelchair.

Now, I laugh.
Not formally, for, everyday I am still humble
Beneath the brutality of this world.
Yet finally I can recognize myself
as beauty when named against the odds
And how my friends rejoice for me—
My hair dark brown and down-soft against my skull—
Reformed—
My mind bright and fierce and proud
Standing triumph on life—thus far—

I rejoice, I rejoice—
how far how I have come
And for the loves surrounding me

09-10-06

Hello my name is....

2006-09-25T10:39:00.000-04:00

Ok so I know it has been awhile but with several good excuses! My little brother came for a visit! It was great to see him & hang out with him, even though he sleeps a lot! But I guess I can forgive that since he works a lot of overtime and a lot of nights. We had fun and I think it did him some good to be able to relax for a bit! So.. Right after he left it was time for Purdue’s homecoming game and for my High School Reunion. I have to admit, I was very weary of going and I waffled a lot at first but a lot of my good friends came and I really enjoyed it. I couldn’t believe all the people who now have kids!! Like I said it was great to see everyone and I really hope everyone else enjoyed it too! The only thing is, some of those people are soo great, but they live so far away! No fair! I also have to say how much I appreciate everyone who came from out of town to hang out this weekend!! We had about 13 people at the tailgate & it was great!! And as always, I will be posting all photos on the photo page under “homecoming” or “reunion”. Last but not least, my friend Gretchen recently had her baby and here he is!! Congrats girl!!!!! So I think life is gonna feel real quiet now that all of these big events have come & gone…. However, I still have Abbi’s shower & her new baby to look forward too, PLUS Halloween!! (my 2nd fave holiday!) I wanna be Marie Antoinette but I would have to rent the dress…or what I think is more likely… Cleopatra…. I gotta get busy on that! Love you all!! xoxoxoxo
PS someone left a toothbrush in a lrg pink container… if its yours, let me know & I will mail it to you!

LOOKING BACK

2006-09-09T13:14:00.000-04:00

One year ago today we were pulling into the CAT scan place and I said to my father jokingly “If I have a tumor and they shave my head and I have to get a wig, you are gonna get me the best wig they make!” ha ha ha. Really though I was just concerned they might need to give me an IV.I look back now, and I had no idea how right I was…

A year ago today
I was in a wheelchair
I couldn’t drive
I couldn’t type
It took me at least 30 minutes to put pants on
I could not zip or button any pants
I couldn’t hook my bra
I fell down-a lot
I was running into everything
Any uneven surfaces such as stairs were very difficult.

I wrote this list out to remind myself how far I have come. Sometimes I get so caught up in all the things that I can’t do right now, and things that I have lost that I forget about all the things that I have gotten back. I thank God every day for all the gains I have made and I plan to make many many more!!! I look at my life and I am stunned and grateful for all the love and support I have had from the very beginning. I am truly blessed to have friends such as you!!!!
ALL MY LOVE!!XOXOXOXOXOXOXO