I have been under a rain cloud for 2 days now… I can’t say it’s all sunshine now but it is getting better.
I had a visit with my Dr. here in town. I have always been aware that my cancer is very aggressive and that it has a high return rate. I made the mistake of asking, “how high is that?”
It is 99%.
There is a 99% chance that I will have a re-occurrence at some point. I still don’t know what to say about that. I am stunned. I am shocked. I wasn’t prepared.
I also found out that he wants me to remain on chemotherapy. For how long? I don’t know. I still have to go to MD Anderson to hear what they think…
I thought I was done. I thought I could go back to real life…
I know it is going to be ok. I know that things will get better. I know that I cannot loose faith or hope. I just didn’t know I guess…
SO here’s to 1% the percent I hope to be!!!
All my love xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
I had a visit with my Dr. here in town. I have always been aware that my cancer is very aggressive and that it has a high return rate. I made the mistake of asking, “how high is that?”
It is 99%.
There is a 99% chance that I will have a re-occurrence at some point. I still don’t know what to say about that. I am stunned. I am shocked. I wasn’t prepared.
I also found out that he wants me to remain on chemotherapy. For how long? I don’t know. I still have to go to MD Anderson to hear what they think…
I thought I was done. I thought I could go back to real life…
I know it is going to be ok. I know that things will get better. I know that I cannot loose faith or hope. I just didn’t know I guess…
SO here’s to 1% the percent I hope to be!!!
All my love xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
4 comments:
I am so sorry Gracie! That is not the best news. But.. coming from someone who seems to beat the odds (breech baby, twins, a female with Reactive Arthritis etc...) at least there is a chance it won't come back! And... this cancer is usually found in older people too... so I bet most of the studies have been with older people. But... I am sorry to hear about the news. We were all hoping you were done. I will be thinking of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I read your blog yesterday, then dreamt I had something really witty and inspiring to reply with, only to wake up with the idea forgotten. I suppose, since it was a dream, it could've been something nonsensical like, "Eating bananas while you ride a roller-coaster and look at paintings of Monet, will make it allllllllll better, Gracie." So it's probably just as well that my enthusiasm for what I said is gone. But the truth is, just as Karla said, is that you ARE young vs. the type of person who would statistically experience this type of cancer and not do so well. And, unlike many, many others, you've done SO well with this whole thing. You've already made miracles happen. It's inspiring and encouraging to know that you've overcome many, many obstacles others have not and so, my thinking is....if you've done that, then statistically you're likely to continue to do the same. You're young, you're strong, you're Grace, the all-inspiring, 1% girl!
You have been amazing through this whole thing. Don't give up your optimism. Remember that statistics are meaningless on the individual level. Absolutely meaningless. Whatever happens to you will be unique to you, and there's no reason on earth why you can't be the 1% who has no recurrence!
I agree whole-heartedly with Beth. You are an amazing woman, and have an amazing strength that I never knew you had. If there is ANYONE who can show 'em; and beat the pants off of the cancer, sending it running for the hills... that would be you. I'm thinking about you and constantly praying for you, my friend.
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