Isn't this picture Gabe took beautiful?!?So my trip to Houston was a half success. I did not show any re-occurrences, which is great!! However, I am now struggling with a new situation. I recently learned that I am going into early menopause. They really don’t know why that is. At first, they thought that my pituitary gland had gotten radiated when I was going through radiation. I went through some blood tests and that is not the case. I also did a blood test that showed that my ovaries seem to be functioning normally. At this point, the doctors don’t know what to say. There is some discussion that I may begin to take estrogen to allow me to stop the menopause, but the problem is that I could have a re-occurrence with the hormones. Nothing has been decided at this point. Needless to say, this is another painful side effect of my disease. It is hard to not feel old when your having hot flashes and other new issues that is supposed to come around your late 50’s. It is also hard to know how to feel about the possibility of not being able to have kids. I was never sure that I wanted children to begin with. I knew I would have to wait 3 years after chemo to consider it anyway so I haven’t given it any thought. Although right now I don’t feel too upset about this, being told that I “can’t” is never good in my book!!! I may be able to get my body back on track, we just don’t know yet. Whatever happens, I am going to be just fine with it. I have faith that it will work out for the best in either direction, and I have no qualms with adoption if I want children! I just don’t like to keep thing a secret (although some call that privacy) For me, I don’t want to feel ashamed or only post good things all the time. The truth is, life is ups AND downs and there is no reason I can’t share them with the people who love me (and sort-of the whole world too!) Roll with the punches people!! Love You All!!!xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
3 comments:
When I got your text message, it didn't seem as upbeat as your others for some reason. Now I know why. Jackie just told me what the doctors said. I am sorry to hear the news, but I am glad that the cancer hasn't come back. That is great news!
I am planning on driving up to see Jackie's new house soon. I need to talk to you too so I can also come see you. I will be thinking of you (as always!). :)
You are very brave and I know this is hard. I promise to support you through all of this and know that if you choose adoption, you will be glad it worked that way. Marco would love to have another adopted cousin in the family. Thank you always for your honesty, love, and strength.
Lots of hugs, Gracie!!!
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